"if that meant being a man"

i dreamt last night that Lauren was yelling at me for leaving New Haven so abruptly. Which got me thinking that maybe i should have stayed in New Haven - not last night, but this year, that last May, rather than fleeing off to my parents' apartment to wallow in self loathing for four months, I should have cast down my bucket where I stood, found a job in New Haven, and stayed there for the year while figuring out grad school and building a life for myself. The point, i guess, is moot, and what I really need to do is find an apartment. Craig's List is intimidating.