The title of this post is a reference, first, to a rather wonderful Sleater-Kinney B-Side from the "Get Up" single, and second, to the fact that as of four days ago, I number among the ranks of the "25 and over" set. My feelings about this are mixed. On the one hand, it's been a fun couple of days. The trip to the zoo was loads of fun. I could have stayed there and watched the otters play around for hours. I got to hang out quite a bit with friends and family, and the cohort took me out to dinner last night, which was equally awesome.
But I often feel like the last few years have slipped through my fingers - kind of a "how the fuck did I get to be 25/when did that happen" moment, i guess. 23, after all, was a near total wash, and I don't really feel like i got out of 24 what I wanted to. And now I'm halfway through my twenties with no money, and what I suspect is not much of a better idea of how to be an adult in any positive sense of the term than I had when I was 21 or 22. And that's a little scary, because as much as i could concievably spend the rest of my life playing World of Warcraft or rewatching Buffy DVDs, that strikes me (no pun intended) as a pretty defeatist scenario, and I would like to - no. fuck that, I need to figure out how to actually participate in struggles for social justice in meaningful ways. And I would also like to figure out how to build/find a community here in the city that I feel comfortable in but that challenges me to be a better organizer/researcher/academic/whatever and a better person. The idea of struggling through all this shit into my 30s is kind of scary, and 30 doesn't feel anywhere near as distant as it did a year ago. Grad school, i guess, will do that to you.
I think i'm being overly melodramatic. But hey, at least you got something mildly substantive, right? I haven't been a good blogger lately either, i guess.
No comments:
Post a Comment